 |
Making
things happen - with integrity. A weekly CyberMemo designed to keep you on task. Monday September 16, 2002 Volume IV Number 37 |
FOCUS - The Dancing Zorba
When Tom and Rita Hanks sat in the front row for a one-woman comedy show in Toronto, created and performed by local comedienne Nia Vardalos, they weren’t prepared for the out-of-control side-splitting laughter that blindsided them, and everyone else in the room. They’d been told they would relate to the story line, but Nia’s script and delivery went way over the top. She wrote the hour long comedic sketch, an autobiographical and original account of her family’s response to her own wedding plan. From the moment she stepped on the stage that night, the hilarity never stopped.
To her family’s dismay, in real life, Nia Vardolos the Greek fell in love and married a non-Greek, just like Rita and Tom did (Rita is Greek).
The performance struck a chord of truth for the Hollywood super-star and his wife. Tom (as in Forest Gump, Castaway, etc.) remembered his nervous introduction to Rita’s family. While there were certain differences to be sure, Nia’s caricatures – the roaring lion of a patriarch, the over-bearing matriarch, the plastic slip covers on the living room furniture, the cousins named Nick, the chauvinism about the civilization’s roots – in Greek philosophy (Aristotle and Socrates) and language (every language in the world started out as Greek – including Japanese), and the reverence for Orthodoxy, well they all rang a bell of truth. Tom fell in love with Rita, and Rita with Tom – but Tom’s greatest challenge of all was winning over Rita’s family, especially the Father.
When a guy’s really in love, he’ll do just about anything to win over the girl. He’ll do whatever it takes.
After the performance, Tom and Rita met with Nia backstage. “We’ve got to have some fun with this one,” said Hanks, looking over to Rita with a nod. “Did you ever write a movie script?” he asked Nia.
“Ya think?” she said, wide eyed.
And that was the beginning of a project that would become the summer sleeper of a hit movie for the year 2002.
It’s a movie that began as a small independent production. No big name stars. No big budget (it cost less that $5 million to make, small change by Hollywood standards). It opened in only a few theaters back in April. While the mega-movies count on turning a hundred million in gross the first few weekends out, this one barely broke $600,000. Even the major block-busters only last a couple of months in the theaters before they are bumped by new-comers staking a claim on the coveted weekend movie dollars.
But this week, five months after its initial release, the Hanks/Vardalos project is still going strong, a word-of-mouth phenomena that will soon break the hundred million mark. It finished at number two at the box office.
It’s name as off-beat as it’s theme – My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
* * * * * * * *
Fortoula (Toula) Portokalos passed her thirtieth birthday falling well short of the generally accepted life purpose of every Greek father’s daughter. According to Toula, Greek women have but three reasons for being – marry a Greek man, make Greek babies and feed everyone all the time for the remainder of her days.
Toula was becoming a frump. She wore thick glasses, tied her hair back, wore layered drab outfits and smiled nervously when she welcomed patrons to the family restaurant, The Dancing Zorba, helping them to find a table. (“I’m not a waitress, I’m a seating hostess.”) Her father would say, “Toula, you need to find a good Greek boy and get married. You’re beginning to look old.” She knew it. So she took a second job part time in a travel agency, thinking that she might find a life somewhere on the walls surrounding her in the colorful posters of exotic far-away places as she secured tickets for someone else hoping someday the escape itinerary would be her own.
One day, Ian Miller, clearly a non-Greek, as WASPish as they come, a high school English teacher, happened by, and suggested that Toula, who even as a frump caught his eye, not quite remembering that she had seated him just the other day at the Dancing Zorba, might enjoy taking some courses that could broaden her experience and perhaps set her up for a career.
The suggestion triggers the remake of Toula Portokalos.
She
will not meet Ian again for awhile. In the meantime, she changes hairstyle,
she dumps the horn-rimmed glasses, she buys some clothes with color and style,
she runs off to class with ambition in her eyes and books in her backpack.
This time, she’s going to make a life not determined by her roots, but a fresh
new world of possibilities, way beyond her father’s boundaries.
When Ian sees the new and improved Toula, he falls. Hard. And this is when the real fun begins.
His parents barely have a pulse. They live dull predictable lives. Their disciplines long ago edged out spontaneity and fun. Their protected lives left Ian wanting more. He found it in his English classics and vegetarianism. Toula is everything his parents aren’t. She fears the day he learns about his family; avoids it as long as possible. But the day finally arrives.
Her father blows a fuse.
* * * * * * * * *
Laughter confirms it. We chuckle when we sense that someone has landed on a truth. We nod in affirmation. We laugh out loud when someone reveals a personal verité and exposes it for what it is. Odd. But true.
That’s why this movie elicits so much of it (laughter that is).
When two people come together in marriage, they are bringing two families together, too. The differences in style and values and behaviors soon become apparent. We hope we can keep laughing.
Ian and Toula have crossed over a great cultural divide. His family is quiet. Hers loud. His distant and cool. Hers affectionate and warm. His stays at arm’s length. Hers hugs and touches. His embraces a liberal tolerance. Hers is suspicious of outsiders. His father reads the Wall Street Journal. Her father sprays everything with Windex. His mother makes Bundt cake. Hers makes Baklava. His parents drink chardonnay. Hers drink ouzo.
It has been said that love conquers all. There’s no more classic illustration of the point than Ian and Toula.
It’s refreshing to see this kind of film get such a broad and enthusiastic response. The film affirms the give and take of building a home and a family. We laugh over the quirkiness of Toula’s family. But we don’t laugh at them. Their weirdness is endearing. The bond something we all cherish.
The wedding is a family affair. As we watch, we become part of the family.
And when we leave, we have a new appreciation for our own family quirkiness.
* * * * * * * *
It’s Monday morning. You are a leader.
If you are single, as Toula was, and if you would like to find a partner, just you wait and see. When you least expect it…
If you are married, chances are there are some rather fundamental differences between your family upbringing and your spouse's. Stop trying to pretend it isn’t so. Celebrate the diversity.
Get going on a project just for the fun of it. Like Tim and Rita Hanks, it just might pay off.
Big time.
Posted in Valley Center, California
© Copyright Kenneth E. Kemp 2002
Special Thanks to my good friend David Belcher, owner of Rhino Media Group and creator of WisdomGram
LeaderFOCUS is a service of Good Stewardship Associates
|
|