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Making
things happen - with integrity. A weekly CyberMemo designed to keep you on task. Monday February 18, 2002 Volume IV Number 7 |
FOCUS - The New Civility
Maybe it’s just me.
There is nothing scientific about it. It can’t be measured or tested. But ever since that watershed day in our shared national history - September 11, 2001 - there appears to be a new civility reigning over the global village.
While it extends beyond the borders of our own country, it is certainly observable in our own communities. I sense it in the everyday chores in the grocery store and daily commute through local traffic. People seem more willing to yield. Even at the four way stop. Pedestrians get a little more time to make up their mind or to get across the intersection. In the line up of bumper to bumper rush hour traffic, drivers appear more likely to brake and let you change your lane. At the fast food counter, people are more likely to wave you on with a smile, and let you take your turn.
It seems to be the case even outside our U. S. of A. Certain locales remain openly anti-American; but in most places there is a new willingness to be friendly towards the USA and towards those of us who hold citizenship.
One might speculate as to the reasons why.
Perhaps for the first time in recent memory, we Americans have been exposed as vulnerable, just like the rest of the world. We experience loss, too. While we are generally known as the richest country in the world, with freedoms and abundance and mobility that make the rest of the planet envious, we can be hurt. Maybe it’s a relief for all to acknowledge finally that life on many levels really is a struggle between good and evil. Evil is real. And now that Evil is an acceptable topic in our national and international dialogue, perhaps Good can flourish, too. Somehow life gets less complicated when your Enemy has a name. A national agenda comes into focus. Sacrifice is OK. We become less obsessed with our own needs, and we are willing to consider the needs of others.
Together, we strive for a common goal.
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A couple weeks ago, I was impressed by this New Civility as I watched of all things, the Super Bowl.
There were fewer penalties. If the call was close, the standard ranting and raging from the sideline didn’t happen – you know, the Head Coach throwing back his head in disgust, banging his forehead with an open hand in stunned amazement. Ripping the headset off, slamming the clipboard to the ground, snarling and fuming in the general direction of the Referee. This year, you didn’t see as much punching and nose to nose eruptions of ferocity out there on the field, fire-breathing and cursing from behind the face-masks between plays; the old winning through intimidation stuff that up ‘til now seemed so commonplace on the professional Gridiron. The lines between the NFL and the NHL and the WWWF got blurred.
This year, the play was just as intense as ever. Maybe even more so. Civility doesn’t mean wimpiness. Or a retreat to weakness. The hits were just as hard. But in the aftermath of one of those solid hits, where one player clearly out-ran or out-smarted or out-maneuvered the other, it was more likely that the loser would offer a hand and pull the winner up to his feet and congratulate him for a job well done pat him on the rear and then head back to the huddle. On the next play, they’d go at it again.
It was as though these Super Bowl players knew there were children watching and they wanted to be good examples of professional play and sportsmanship.
When the New England Patriots took the field, they were the decided Underdogs. But you never would have guessed it. They came through the tunnel like Winners. They declined the standard introductions which traditionally highlight the starting line up, each of the top players with a close-up shot on world-wide television and their name announced on booming the stadium loudspeaker triggering one more deafening roar from the crowd. After the St. Louis Rams were named in all their modern day Gladiator Glory one at a time, the announcer surprised the audience by saying “The New England Patriots will enter the field as a Team.”
And they did.
The network sportscaster explained that for the first time in Super Bowl history the Patriots dispensed with the ego-centric tradition of focusing on the individual players, and this time would present themselves to the world and their opponents as a complete Team where no one player had any more importance than any of the others. The third string line-man ranked just as high as the starting quarterback. Each had an indispensable role. If the Patriots would become the unlikely winner of this contest, it would be because they checked their egos in the locker-room, left them behind, and played like a team. That was the strategy.
And we all now know.
It worked.
* * * * * * * *
Civility is neither the absence of controversy nor the want of diverse opinions nor dearth of vigorous debate. Civility has to do with the conduct of behavior; it goes to one’s attitude, the extension of courtesy right there in the presence of controversy and strong opinion and spirited debate.
Real civility works best when the potential for anxiety is heightened. It wears its most attractive face when the tension is strung tight, when the stakes are considerable and when there is something to lose.
Otherwise, civility is nothing more than easy good manners.
Civility is at the root of civilization. It’s a kindly orderliness. It’s mutual respect. It’s yielding my needs to yours.
* * * * * * *
Now the New Civility continues in the Olympic Games.
I thought Russia was history. That the Super Power was long ago broken up beyond recognition. But in the world of Olympic Figure Skating, Russia remains a titan force.
When the Russian figure skating pair Elena Berezhnaya and Anton Sikharulidze took to the ice, you knew immediately how the Russians have maintained their dominance. An elegant couple, their timeless moves and fluid grace disguise the difficulty of their complicated routine. He tall and lean and she a classic beauty with a flow of golden hair, bright round blue eyes and a haunting smile, their poetic harmony, the synchronized spins and turns, the intertwining of their bodies in the blur of an impossible dance, to the crescendo of classical music; it was a tasteful and sensual performance of exquisite beauty and grace.
In the short program, the hint of a Canadian upset seemed at best a long shot.
Until Jamie Sale and David Pelletier took their turn.
Both of them ranked high in the competitive world of figure skating, and nearly gave up for want of a suitable partner. Then they found each other. Listen to them describe what’s happened since and you’ll see sparks flying. Each claims that the other brought out the best. And now, in this Olympic competition, the two were the first in decades with the ability to end a long domination of the event by the Russians.
Only a playful fall at the end of their short program betrayed anything short of perfection.
When Maximus, the Gladiator, arrived at the Coliseum in Rome for the first time since his exile, and imagines competing in the Arena, Proximo whispers in his ear, “Win over the crowd.” It becomes his byword.
Such must be the case for Olympic figure skaters.
Jamie’s bright smile and gleaming brown eyes do just that. In tandem with her partner David, they proceed to win over the crowd… and, one assumes, the judges.
In their long program, the final for the Gold Medal, the Russians performed on a world class level… but even the judges picked up a couple of missteps. The telecasters in the booth caught them, too. So did the crowd. It was an uncharacteristic performance for the world champion Russians. They missed the mark. It showed.
As Jamie and David approached the ice for their routine, they knew full well they had a shot at Gold. It became “their night.” To the theme from the old classic movie, “Love Story,” their choreography unfolded and was as much good story-telling as figure skating. The romance of true love played out, and then, as in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, perfect love gives way to the fates and vanishes, slips away in a crisscross of uncontrollable circumstance… and the dream disappears, a destiny that will never be.
As Jamie and David come to the end of their perfect routine, the crowd and the announcers begin their celebration of victory, but it’s premature. The routine is not yet complete. The two, dressed in gray, separate, with longing in his eyes he turns away as an abandoned lover, and she, gently pushing away as in the movie, the heroine slips into eternity, the victim of terminal illness, and drifts off behind, the pathos of separation in her eyes and the music fades, the two still in character… helplessly gliding apart, a moment frozen in time.
And then, out of the silence – the crowd explodes in a wild and teary celebration of Gold.
David breaks out of the trance… and joins the crowd in the revelry, throwing back his head in amazement looking toward the heavens, fists clenched in disbelief. He falls to his knees, bows and kisses the ice.
Jamie skates toward him, and the two embrace as the world (with the exception perhaps, of the Russians) cheers in reckless abandon.
It was an Olympic moment destined to be remembered for generations to come.
Until the scores posted.
With the cameras filling the screen with close-up portraits of the Canadians, barely holding back a flood of emotion – the judges finished their work and shocked the stadium crowd, the network announcers and a world wide television audience.
The Russians took the Gold by an eyelash margin.
The Canadians – Silver.
The bubble burst.
* * * * * * * *
By the end of the week, the world learned the truth. A veteran French judge had been illegally pressured to vote for the Russian team. The results fixed by a clandestine pre-performance deal. It’s an embarrassment to the Games.
The Canadians will be awarded a Gold Medal, along with the Russians. It will be in essence, a tie for first.
I don’t know if this is any kind of
solution. I only know this. The athletes, both the
Russians and the Canadians, took the high road. They were honest. Sincere.
High level achievers who embrace the ideals of civility.
In their interviews, they were upbeat. They had high respect for their competitors. They accepted the outcome. They rested in the knowledge that they had done their best.
They refused to wallow in their disappointment and whine about life’s incongruities. Nor did they complain about the illusive thing we call fairness. They simply let their performance speak for itself.
It spoke volumes.
The New Civility on display.
* * * * * * * *
In our striving for high ideals, we frequently miss the mark. But that’s hardly an excuse for giving up.
The New Civility was addressed by our President in his inaugural address, January 20, 2001. From the steps of the Capitol Building in Washington DC, on a frigid winter day, George W. Bush proclaimed…
“Today we affirm a new commitment to live out our nation's promise through civility, courage, compassion, and character... Civility is not a tactic or a sentiment. It is the determined choice of trust over cynicism, of community over chaos. And this commitment, if we keep it, is a way to shared accomplishment.”
It’s naïve to think that civility has overcome in all corners. There’s plenty of rudeness and insolence and vulgarity to go around. It won’t take you long to see it alive and in person in your neighborhood.
But I welcome civility wherever I see it.
How about you?
* * * * * * * *
It’s Monday morning.
You are a leader.
You perform at a high level. Not many could keep up with your pace. You move with intention and grace through your office and through your workday like a figure skater on ice. People tell you… “I don’t know how you do it.”
But you do.
And we all agree. Competition increases performance. And productivity. We wouldn’t have it any other way. And we accept the fact that competition often times leaves casualties in its wake. It’s part of the deal.
Let’s join the legions of those who’ve responded to our President’s clarion call. In the rough and tumble of a competitive workplace…
Let’s be civil.
Even on a Monday.
© Copyright Kenneth E. Kemp 2002
LeaderFOCUS is brought to you by Good Stewardship Associates
Special Thanks for Design by my good friend David Belcher, owner of Rhino Media Group and creator of WisdomGram
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