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Making
things happen - with integrity. A weekly CyberMemo designed to keep you on task. Monday August 4, 2003 Volume V Number 36 |
FOCUS - A Man and a Maiden Fair
Wisdom literature materialized mainly because life is so mysterious and unpredictable. The scientist’s primary task is to investigate the unknowns and find there a pattern or a formula that can be postulated into a cause-effect statement: if this, then that. Careful experimentation tests the formula, and if there is consistency, if the expected result occurs over and over again, voilá – we have science. But not everything can be treated as a science.
I’ve always believed the phrase Behavioral Science to be something of an oxymoron (a self-contradiction); the idea that behavior can be reduced to scientific formulas complete with the predictable cause and effect to be the invention hard-core left-brainers engaged in wishful thinking. Science is certainly useful – especially in medicine. And the volumes of scientific data, now exploding exponentially with new technologies and vastly improved tools, prediction will be more and more dependable - on certain levels anyway. But when you combine the complexities of the human heart, the human mind and the human body, you’ve got a mix that will always spell mystery. Surprise. Wonder. Even astonishment. There is no end to the plethora of confounding riddles science must tackle when it takes on human behavior.
So behavioral sciences will always draw in the curious; many bright and ambitious and determined to contribute to the well-being of humankind. And some helpful new truths will certainly emerge. But for the rest of us, there is Wisdom.
Wisdom is the compilation of common sense. In the world at large, sadly, common sense seems decidedly uncommon. All too rare. So, some of our most helpful sages through the years wrote down wise sayings, recording them for all time. Their hope: that others will read and comprehend and utilize their written admonishments. Benjamin Franklin left behind volumes of such. They became the classic foundation for practical life in America. “Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.” This isn’t science. And wouldn’t it be nice if that’s all it took? But the old adage certainly rings a bell of truth.
King Solomon loved wisdom. Some have called him a philosopher – a lover of wisdom (Greek – philos [love, affection] plus sophos [wisdom] = lover of wisdom). He compiled a whole catalog of wise sayings we call The Proverbs. For several years now, I’ve had three of them randomly selected by a wise computer programmer and delivered to my e-mail box every day. One of my favorites underscores life’s mysteries in a couple of unforgettable phrases –
There are three things that are too amazing for me,
four that I do not understand:
the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas,
and the way of a man with a maiden.
For Solomon, each of these word pictures illustrates a subject of fascination. He calls them amazing. We might call them awesome. Or in contemporary slang, we might use the all-too-common redundant phrase – totally awesome, as though anything that is truly awesome isn’t totally so. I prefer not to use that phrase; primarily because it is redundant, and it’s over-exposure in common speech has diluted the meaning of the wonderful word awesome entirely.
Have you ever sat on a ridge, perhaps the edge of a cliff, and watched an eagle soar? Catching the currents? The updrafts? Scouting the terrain below? Have you not wished for eagle’s wings? To watch the world from his vantage point? Or from below, have you seen his wide span from the ground, up through the branches of the tall pines, high above, as he watches the crashing of the waves against the rocky shoreline from way up there, all the while chased airborne by lesser birds, annoying, frustrating his course, as though the pesky little pests are hopelessly envious of his majestic flight? Have you contemplated the awesome mystery of the wind beneath his wings, as he defies gravity, swooping here and there at will? And then watched him perch proud on a branch, as though the world were his? Have you watched him?
I have.
Have you seen the snake on a rock? This frightening, slithering, foreboding creature, so dangerous, so pre-historic. The sight of him sends a shot of adrenaline through our bodies, triggering the involuntary fight or flight mechanism. Our flesh quivers. He moves without legs. He takes in the sun. He is on the prowl, on the hunt. Get in his way, and there will be a price to pay (so we believe). Not all snakes are venomous, but those who are have pretty well set the reputation for the rest. Most of us just don’t like snakes. They represent our fears. The dark, evil side. Satan himself appeared as one back in the Garden of Eden, and we’ve considered them all sinister ever since. Menacing. But look up close through the protective glass at the snake exhibit in the zoo. Watch the hundreds, maybe thousands of muscles across his long belly move in concert, expanding and contracting in symmetrical rhythms, pushing his body forward, gliding across a rock in a smooth effortless motion. Have you seen it?
I have.
Stand on the ocean’s edge, and tell me you do not feel small. Since Solomon’s time, we have developed technologies of navigation and power. But who among us hasn’t imagined the horror of being adrift at sea? Dependent on sun and stars to point the way? Vulnerable to the whims of wind and weather, tides and currents, dangerous creatures lurking just beneath the surface? The vast mysteries of endless water, no land in sight? Our technologies are no guarantee. Ask the survivors of the Titanic. For Solomon, as for us, the oceans will ever confound our capacity to imagine. How deep? How wide? How lost can one be? On land, we are anchored to the Good Earth. Solid ground. Terra firma. Secure in our footing. But the ocean is in perpetual motion, immense, challenging our senses, our capacity to navigate, testing our courage, our resolve to risk life and limb and take on the high seas. Have you thought about it?
I have.
These three are amazing. Awe-inspiring. But the fourth – this one takes the cake.
The way of a man with a maiden.
What happens to a man when he falls in love? Now there’s a mystery. Science hasn’t even come close to explaining this one.
* * * * * * *
We have a rather large extended family. Mom has twenty-two (count ‘em) grandchildren and as of this past weekend, four of them are married. But several others are rapidly approaching that stage in life where love means more than a weekend date to the movies.
We are home now, just about over the “jet lag.” Stockholm was beautiful in the summertime. The entire nation takes the full month of July for vacation. I can understand why. The gardens in full bloom, the forests and meadows a deep shade of green. The balmy breezes rich. The sky, a bright blue, white fluffy clouds float by. Our nephew Grant, stricken by a young Swede with yellow hair and a ready smile and bright blue eyes, stood before family and friends in a church made of stone some eight hundred years ago and made his promise. There was singing and dancing and celebration all around as in Swedish and English the God of Heaven and Earth was honored and blessed in the joyful moment when two committed themselves to become one.
This fourth wedding on our side of the family is a signal to others. As young ones watch and listen, they get the idea that this is not such a bad idea. And they begin to dream dreams of their own.
Another niece was there, arm in arm with a young man with that certain look in his eye. It’s unmistakable, really. She is a recent college graduate, and shortly thereafter, passed the state board exams and begins work as a registered nurse this fall up in a mountain resort community. As Grant and Therese uttered their promise, and embraced, sealing the vow with a kiss, you could tell, these two were paying close attention there in the audience. Something’s in the air. And when it happens, the celebration will be just as joyful.
…too amazing for me… the way of a man with a maiden.
At a Fourth of July gathering this summer, the extended family was introduced to a bright, attractive young woman, now keeping company with yet another nephew. Tim went through some tough times early in his college career, trying to figure out where he wanted his life to go. But then he met her. He wanted her to meet all of us that day. It was a daunting assignment, one she took on with grace and wit and charm. Things that seemed so confusing, and dull, and distant for Tim not that many months ago, well, they’ve all come into focus. He appears now to be a man on a mission.
…too amazing for me… the way of a man with a maiden.
When our plane landed on the final leg home, some eight thousand miles later, Kevin waited at the curb. His phone message indicated that he was hoping to get some time with us before we headed home. So we planned a little get together at The Living Room, a charming little bistro over on Point Loma. As the car approached, ready to take our luggage, there she was in the front seat with Kevin. As we settled in, pulling away from the Terminal, Kevin announced – “Uh… Sonya has something she’d like to show you!”
Sonya blushed ever so slightly, and simply placed her left hand over the back of our seat, and there it was - a diamond that sparkled just like Sonya’s eyes. Kevin’s, too.
We squealed and cried and somehow kept our vehicle in the lane. We talked late into the night about how it was that all these plans fell together – and dreamed about the days to come.
So now, our third has specific plans for his wedding day. And most important, he found a terrific young woman with whom he’ll share his life.
…too amazing for me… the way of a man with a maiden.
A maiden is powerful. She can change a man. He’ll re-order his entire world, if she’ll be his. She’ll bring purpose and meaning. She’ll energize his day. It’s a mystery. It can not be orchestrated, or coerced. It happens in its own time.
And brings joy that can hardly be described.
* * * * * *
It’s Monday morning, you are a leader.
Wouldn’t it be nice if Science could explain everything? Give us a formula, an equation, and we just plug in the variables, and it all comes together? It would be nice – but it doesn’t work that way… does it?
Is life a science? Or an art?
Probably both.
We need wisdom. And wisdom is available.
We’re gunna need it. We did some math while we were sitting in the living room of a downtown apartment in the heart of Stockholm. There well could be twenty-four to thirty children born into the extended family in the next ten years. And that won’t be the end of it. Weddings and child-births are in our future. Talk about your family reunion. Whoa.
Maybe the same is true for your future, too.
George Santayana put it this way – “To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring.”
You are surrounded by people still in the springtime of their lives. Maybe your season is changing. It’s OK.
Let’s welcome it.
And let’s celebrate the unfathomable mysteries of love.
Posted in Valley Center, California
Quoted - Proverbs 30:18-19 (NIV)
© Copyright Kenneth E. Kemp 2003
Special Thanks to my good friend David Belcher, owner of Rhino Media Group and creator of WisdomGram
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